Gentlemen, Start Your... well, nothing

This story should have been held until Friday. Y’know, April first.

According to a report in Tuesday’s edition of the Daytona Beach News-Journal, Daytona International Speedway could become a cemetery for, um, die-hard NASCAR fans.

The newspaper reports that legislation is on the table in Florida that would allow construction of an on-site columbarium – which the dictionary defines as a structure of vaults to house urns – at both Daytona International Speedway and Homestead Miami Speedway.

International Speedway Corp. spokesperson Lenny Santiago was quoted as saying "We have a lot of fans that are very, very loyal to NASCAR races and to Daytona in general."

According to the report, if the bill passes, it will become law on July 1.

Personally, I’d rather die than have the Daytona Speedway be my final resting place.

What Occupation is on her Tax Return?

From the looks of things this morning, the Charlie Sheen story has staying power. There is a new tidbit in today’s headlines.

But despite the long-lived nature of this latest chapter in Sheen’s off-screen life, our favorite moment occurred relatively early in all this.

This latest Sheen scandal began last October when he was involved in a disturbance in a hotel room in New York City, where, it was reported, the hooker he had with him locked herself in the bathroom to escape Sheen’s erratic behavior.

Not long thereafter, the hooker in question – or a spokesperson for the hooker, I don’t remember precisely – issued a public statement to clarify that she was not a hooker. She was a porn star.

Oh. That’s different then.

A hooker is someone who is paid to engage in sex.

A porn star is someone who is paid to engage in sex on camera.

In light of this difference, we can easily understand why she found it necessary to correct the misrepresentation of her profession.